My thoughts are that you are not asking for enough help from you mate. Marital sex should never be transactional, but as the saying goes - there's nothing a man can do that's sexier than housework.

That blowie may be perceived as less obligatory if she's a bit better rested and pleased with the partnering of chore-age around the house.

Now, ladies, it's also true that you may need to loosen-up on control-freaking (or is it freaking control?) tendencies, in case he does things differently, and, you're just sure, not Quite up to your standards. It's a good trade-off.

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Tom Cushing

Generalist observer in the Age of Specialization, intending some Boomer humor and insights.